At the end of 2009, at the encouragement of an associate who provides contracts to my company for training, I investigated and ultimately pursued certification as a gay-owned business from the NGLCC. The process really wasn't that daunting—I was most concerned about what the interviewing visitor would think when he learned that our "global headquarters" was a spare room in my home in suburban Illinois. Those worries were unfounded, as I was treated with the same respect throughout the application process as if I made millions of dollars in contracts each year. Ultimately, the NGLCC certified my company, including its home-based office.
I was excited to receive notice of the certification at the same time that my Web designer and I were settling on an upgraded look for my website. I posted clearly that we were now NGLCC-certified, an act that essentially outed my business. People to whom I vended my services would not only meet me as I am, but meet my husband, as well. There would be pictures and proclamations, logos and even Pride flags. While not a focus of my website, anyone who could read, or even just came to look, could reasonably deduce that I am gay.
I have lived openly as a gay man since about 1993, living and working in rural Maine. I went through the same processes that so many do telling family and friends. Like so many others, I also lost some connections with some of those folks along the way, who were unable to process that I was gay. My point in relating this is that one would think I would be used to this progression as a result.
What is it like to tell the truth about yourself once again within this business context? Ironically, I found it as hard to personally manage and process in business as I did when it was personal. Telling the truth is often difficult, and not everyone is excited or prepared to hear it. While there haven't been the tears of my original coming out, facing the potential rejection of clients who are conservative and not accepting is challenging.
The market is different than family and friends. My family couldn't simply go find another son/brother/father/uncle/brother-in-law. I was the only one who could fit this particular Bill (pun intended). My business clients, however, have options. If they don't wish to be associated with a gay man, or a gay-owned business, they have a wide variety of other choices. While I know we fill a niche, we are not one-of-a kind. My clients do not have to do business with me.
Not long ago, I was teaching a third-party contract with a conservative religious service organization. The work they do is great work, and I am supportive of their results in protecting children. In working with them, however, I learned that to be hired by that agency one not only had to sign a profession of their faith, but also had to pass in internal interview to make sure the faith one held was of the right variety according their standards. It is their company, and I guess that is their choice. Clearly, an openly gay man would not be allowed to work there.
When asked what they would do if someone outside their faith community wanted to at least donate money to their worthy cause, they responded: "Such a person is not in our demographic." They would indeed take the money, but they weren't interested in associating with that kind of person.
At first, I thought: "Well, I don't want their money either. I don't want to business with their kind." While what I felt was genuine, it wasn't far from the attitude that they held. I learned long ago that one cannot teach what one does not already know. If I held the same biases they did, I would also need to step back as a provider of services. It took some time to reframe my own thinking about that rejection. That potential rebuff was neither something I could control, nor would it change how I would present myself in business. I could now comfortably go back as an openly gay man, if ever there should be an opportunity.
I am pleased to report that the vast majority of my fears about the negative consequences of outing my business have failed to manifest. I proudly remind clients that if diversity is an issue to which they are sensitive, Capax Coaching fits the category of "minority-owned." They can even use their work with me to check off that particular box in their metrics.
I have also concluded that my clients have choices about how and with whom they will do business, and so do I. I prefer to remain authentic as a gay man, and I am proud that the company I represent and own is not ashamed of who I am. We are NGLCC-certified as a gay-owned business, and that business owner is me.
Bill Gordon is owner of, and lead trainer and speaker for, Illinois-based NGLCC-certified LGBTBE, Capax Coaching.
